Out of the House! Make it a good thing.

Bye Bye, please come back for a visit.

I must admit, I was a control freak, but when it came time for my children to go, I was ready!

I taught them all about the gospel I could. We held Family Home Evenings, read the scriptures, had strict home hours and my husband and I went to all of their sports, music, and extracurriculars. We taught them to be responsible by having chores and getting jobs and held "video gaming" to a minimum.

About 10 years ago, I heard a new age had started where college kids were returning home, and "finding themselves." We asked our children what they thought would happen if they would have done it? Our two older children replied, "we would have had to find ourselves working at Del Taco." Del Taco is a fast food place close by in many neighborhoods in Southern California.

Reading this part of President Kimball's conference talk really helps me understand the "out on your own" concept. 


"Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers, and their chums. Sometimes, mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide, whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things, and all intimacies should be kept in great secrecy and privacy from others… Your married life should become independent of her folks and his folks. You love them more than ever, you cherish their counsel, you appreciate their association, but you live your own lives, being governed by your decisions, by your own prayerful considerations after you have received the counsel from those who should give it "(Spencer W. Kimball, March 1977 Ensign, pp. 4, 5)

When my husband and I raised our children, we thought it was an honor to us to be able to watch them make decisions on their own as they grew and progressed. When they had questions or doubts we would help them weigh the pros and cons, but we told them "you must choose." It has been so fun to observe.
I often think of my Heavenly parents and how they must have cried over several of my decisions, and at the same time cheered me on during my righteous ones.

I seriously don't know what the difference is today from 30 years ago, except, coming back home was not an option, and no one wanted to go back home in the first place. Being out on your own meant you were a grown-up, and it didn't matter if you ate mac and cheese and slept on the floor in a sleeping bag, you were on your own (married or not) and you (I) loved it!